I think I’m ready to call Munchkin weaned. It’s been 3 months since she last nursed. She was 4 years, 7 months, 11 days old.
Though Munchkin hasn’t nursed in 3 months, she has not wanted to call herself weaned. I have offered to read Maggie’s Weaning to her a few times, but she adamantly did NOT want to read that book, or to hear anything about being weaned.
But today was different. This morning, she came into my bed and Sweets was nursing. Munchkin coyly snuck up on my other side and said that she wanted some milk. I said, “You know what? I think you are weaned though.” She said, “I’m not! I don’t want to be weaned!” I said, “But you haven’t nursed in 3 months. That’s a long time. I think it means you are weaned. What do you think?” She just lied down next to me. I said, “We can hug and cuddle, how about that?” She agreed.
We went to church a little while later, and while the kids were in their Religious Education classes, I went and talked to the minister for a bit. I told her that I was thinking of doing something special to mark or celebrate Munchkin’s weaning, and did she have any ideas or suggestions for making such a ritual. She suggested a few things, like giving her a special cup to drink from, that didn’t really resonate that much with me (probably because Munchkin has been drinking out of a cup for years!). But she also suggested giving her a bracelet, perhaps something with links to symbolize our link with each other that continues even after weaning. I liked this idea. She also suggested doing some kind of ritual in the presence of a supportive community, if I have one. I’m sure not everyone has a community that would understand the significance of weaning in our lives at almost 5 years old, but I think that my LLL group should be the right environment for this. I will also admit that I ended up crying quite a bit during this meeting – I guess I have some serious emotions about the end of Munchkin’s nursing days. To her credit, the minister was completely understanding and supportive and never batted an eye that we were talking about my 4 year old weaning, not my 1 year old!
In the car on the way home, I brought up the topic again with Munchkin. I told her that I wanted to give her a gift to celebrate her weaning, and did she have any ideas of what she might like. Predictably, her first thoughts were of toys, but I told her I wanted it to be more special than toys. I mentioned the idea of a bracelet, but Munchkin wasn’t into that. She then suggested a necklace instead, and I said that might work and I would look for something. When we got out of the car, she was a little teary. She said, “I’m going to miss nursing.” I said, also tearing up, “I know sweety, I’m going to miss it too. But everyone has to wean some time.”
Then she asked me if I was sad when I weaned, and I told her that I couldn’t remember when I weaned because I was just a little baby. This seemed shocking to her. She asked, “Why?!” I told her that it was my mommy’s choice to wean me then, and that lots of mommies wean their little ones when they are just babies, and some babies never even nurse at all. She told me, “That is not right! It should be the kid’s choice when to wean!” I laughed a bit and told her that I thought so too, but not everyone agrees.
We looked on the internet for an appropriate necklace, and I think we found the perfect thing. It is a necklace that is made with drops of your own 
breast milk! I showed it to Munchkin and told her that this way she could still carry a bit of Mommy’s Milk next to her heart even though she isn’t nursing. She thought this was a great idea, and I think it made her feel a lot better. She was able to talk to me about being weaned for the rest of the day without seeming sad or upset.
At bedtime, I suggested Maggie’s Weaning again, and this time she agreed. She happily heard the story and was particularly excited at the end when Maggie is big enough to be a flower girl (as Munchkin is going to be in May) and ride a bike. She would like to have a weaning party too, just like in the book. It seems like she suddenly identifies with this book, whereas before she totally rejected it! She even asked if we could meet Maggie (to which I told her that based on the publication date, Maggie should be a grown-up now!).
Munchkin’s nursing journey was long and fulfilling for us both, and I’m glad that it tapered off slowly and at her own pace. I’m glad that she seems to be coming to terms with weaning now. We both may have some tears yet to come though.
