Munchkin insists that she’s not weaned. She doesn’t care that the last time she nursed was over a month ago. It doesn’t mean she is weaned. Last night, while I was reading her story, she slyly unbuttoned my shirt and peered inside. Our conversation went something like this:

Munchkin, 4 years old, and me

Munchkin: Can I have some Mommy’s milk?
Me: You want Mommy’s milk? You haven’t had any in a long time. I thought you were weaned.
Munchkin: I’m NOT weaned!
Me: Oh, I just thought maybe you were, because you haven’t had Mommy’s milk in weeks and weeks.
Munchkin: NO, I’m NOT weaned!
Me: Oh, okay, that’s okay.
Munchkin: When I’m five, then I will be weaned. But I’m not five, I’m still four. So that means I’m NOT weaned.
Me: Well, you could be weaned now, if you wanted, even though you are still four. Would you like to be weaned? It’s okay, even when you are four.
Munchkin: NO, I will be weaned when I’m FIVE. When I have my birthday, then I will be five, and I will be weaned.
Me: Really? What happens special when you are five, that means you will wean then?
Munchkin: Then I will go to kindergarten.
Me: What does that have to do with weaning?
Munchkin: Kindergarten is different from preschool. When I’m in kindergarten I will be weaned.
Me: Oh, okay.
Munchkin: So I want some Mommy’s milk.
Me: So, let me ask you something else first. What makes you want Mommy’s milk tonight?
Munchkin: I’m not weaned, so I can still have it.
Me: I know, but you haven’t wanted Mommy’s milk in weeks and weeks. Why do you want it tonight, but you didn’t want it yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that? Do you know what I mean?
Munchkin: Well, on those days I was already full, but today I’m not, so I need some Mommy’s milk.
Me: Are you thirsty or hungry? Would you like some water instead? Or a cup of milk? Or chocolate milk?…
Munchkin: CHOCOLATE MILK!!!
Me: Would you rather have chocolate milk instead of Mommy’s milk? Or do you still want Mommy’s milk?
Munchkin: I want chocolate milk! Let’s go!
Me: Okay, we can do that.

So we went downstairs and she drank a cup of chocolate milk and ate a banana while I read her story. She didn’t have Mommy’s milk. She hasn’t had it in 5+ weeks. But she’s NOT weaned. Don’t even suggest it!

I wonder if being a nursling is part of her identity that she’s not ready to give up yet, even if she’s not nursing anymore.  For me, I’m not giving up my identity as a nursing mother yet, because I’m still nursing Sweets and expect to be for a long while still.  I think that in that way it will be much harder for me when Sweets weans, because I will be losing that part of my identity which has been so important to me for the past 5 years (and a few more years yet to come).  But as Munchkin weans, I am not losing my identity as a nursing mother, only my identity as a tandem nursing mother.  Maybe it’s harder right now for her to give up the idea of nursing than it is to give up nursing itself.